Unbreakable
Over my events industry career, I’ve had the pleasure of connecting with event teams intimately. We would talk about their kids and dreams for the future; and we laugh because the onsite climate of events can be stressful, clients are not always gracious, and we have all experienced the moment where a self-appointed VIP thinks their emergency should be your only priority, and every problem is your problem to solve even if you did not create it.
Personally, I have walked into a ballroom before an event was set to start and been asked to reset it within 30 minutes, and I’ve cringed when banquet staff were cussed out over something that was insignificant. If I am being completely honest, in my youth, while I never yelled or cursed out loud at someone, I was not always graceful or diplomatic; I have learned that maintaining your cool is a skill which is powered by joy and requires practice. If you want to keep your cool onsite, here are a few things you need to do:
Decide in advance that nothing will take you outside of your character or what I call your True North. Early in my career, I worked at an event where someone told me I was so impressive/articulate for a colored person and continued to remark about how he had never seen “one” like me. Rather than lose it (and trust me I might have wanted to), I took a deep breath and moved on with the responsibilities of the day. When others at the event witnessed my response, they eventually called out this guest for their poor behavior. The lesson is that in an uncomfortable situation staying true to who you are allows space for you to leave the event emotionally intact despite others' bad behavior. Did those words hurt? Yes, but they did not affect my worth or ability to continue.
Don’t wait until event day to build relationships. If you want to have a delightful onsite event experience and manage the inevitable stress, you need allies and allies can’t be built solely at the pre-conference meetings or walkthroughs. It is critical to build friendor relationships immediately, frequently, and authentically. Oh, and it is important, perhaps even more so, to sustain these relationships after the event because wherever you work in the events industry, this community is small but our memories are long.
Have a joy ritual. For as long as I can remember, my joy ritual involved my dad because he was extremely witty. Even after his death, my father remains a big part of my joy ritual. Whenever someone has said something unkind to me or the onsite event stress becomes close to unbearable, I take a private moment to play the audio/video recordings of my dad that I took over the course of his illness. These recordings are filled with jokes, expressions of family love, and his origin story. When I hit play and listen to Melvin, his voice restores my smile and becomes the unbreakable armor I need to push through the day.
And finally, whenever people ask me, Why aren’t you stressed? or How are you so calm? I consider my origin story.
I was forged by a love 54 years strong, built with the ancestry of a field slave, janitor, housekeeper, educated at the most elite universities, and survived sexual, financial, and professional trauma.
My backstory provides me with endless reminders that the stress of the event doesn’t stand a chance of stealing my joy or taking me out of my character because, like many of you, I am built to withstand any event stress with my joy intact.
p.s. Don’t forget to follow along with our journey via IG @belajoyful.
