The Gift of Humility
Being humbled is a tremendous opportunity to change the direction of your life.
For some, it is the moment when you realize that you haven’t been your authentic self; aren’t the only person with a particular skill set; understand the meaning of friends vs. associates; regret not being kinder to people along the way; or feel a bit unsettled because prior to being humbled you believed the narrative that you were invincible.
I have been humbled in numerous private and public ways and found three consistent uncomfortable outcomes: people in my life (you know the ones that said they would never disappear) left swiftly; external validation dissipated; and I almost always had to start over. And while those things were difficult and, frankly, at times, gut-wrenching, there were also three positive outcomes from being humbled which I believe are critical to one’s success:
1. Humility makes you confront your less than desirable attributes. For me, that meant asking the tough question of why I was shrinking myself for others’ comfort. The answer was rooted in facing my insecurities and unresolved unhappiness. While I haven’t remedied every mistake that I’ve made, I do now strive daily to be a better person.
2. Humility allows you to clearly identify your tribe. There was a moment in my career where I had more money than I do now and, because I was lonely, I would host and pay for happy hours and nights out with a wide variety of people. Now, with only two exceptions, I don’t hear from most of those people; I don’t wish them unwell but, rather, I have comfort in knowing that my tribe will be there for me whether I’m paying their bar bill or not. They’re also there to pick me up when things go wrong. When you know your tribe, I believe you travel this world with greater confidence because you know that there is at least one person rooting for your success even when haters are focused on your demise. Tribes are a key ingredient to your future success.
3. Humility enhances your discipline. There was a time in my career where I had nothing but my tribe and four suitcases, which doesn’t seem like a lot but it was sufficient; it was clear to me that if I wanted more, I was going to have to become more disciplined in pursuit of my future. Was it tiring and did I get discouraged at times? Absolutely! But as I look back and while the world is currently sitting in the COVID-era, I have absolute confidence that I am resourceful, disciplined, and built to withstand any fire thrown at me. Humility made my internal foundation unshakeable.
I know being humbled can also feel humiliating in a world where perfection is praised, which is why I encourage you to ask yourself these questions:
1. What am I confronting?
2. Who is in my corner?
3. Where should my focus be?
With these answers, you can do the necessary work to prepare for your post COVID season. With your lessons learned during your humbling season, as well as people to stand with, for and by you when you’ve lost your way, life becomes richer.
Life will humble us all, but I believe that after the darkest storm, comes the brightest rainbow.
